You make a life out of what you have, Not what you are missing – Kate Morton
I have spoken several times on growth mindset widely known through research done by Carol Dweck . This quote “you make a life out of what you have, not what you are missing” by Kate Morton from her book The Forgotten Garden resonated with me as a big part of growthmindset. Growth mindset is where individuals believe their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies, and input from others). They tend to achieve more than those with a more fixed mindset (those who believe their talents are innate gifts).
You may have a growth mindset however you may also feel you’re missing out on things in life as you wait for your hard work on strategies to be developed.
How often have you experienced, that as soon as you stop looking for something unobtainable it came? As soon as you stopped looking for that one person to “complete” you they were there. As soon as you stopped looking for that job a better opportunity came.
However by setting aside or to not focus on what you are missing doesn’t mean you stop applying yourself. In part I think we need to settle into the journey or process of life. of becoming. The process of making the best of what we are and have.
A dream does not become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work. ~ Colin Powell, former U.S. Defense Secretary
It’s important to voice or check what you feel you are missing out on and why. Are you so focused on what you feel is missing that life is passing you by?
If it is materialistic goods why would they make your life better?
Is it wishing that you were more personally successful at work?
Is what you’re missing even achievable?
The here and now is all we have, and if we play it right it’s all we’ll need.
Stepping back and really thinking about what you’re missing is a real big step in growth mindset.
Sometimes what you’re missing may be just round the corner but you’re not there yet in terms of training, education, experience emotional preparedness . Maybe you are not experienced enough for that job. If so what do you need to do to ensure you get the job that’s for you not what you think you are missing.
Settle into your current career, do it to the best of your ability, keep an eye on the future but don’t stress about it, don’t stress about that “job” not coming up.
Review what is truly important and necessary from what is merely nice to have and choose to let go some of the things that don’t add value to the quality of your life.
Settle into your emotional journey focus on the people around you, continue to learn. Sometimes what we’re missing is not actually what we’re looking for or need. On speaking with many women in my network they tell me that as they raised their families they have felt they missed out on time for themselves. When their children grow up and leave they’re missing the activity or interest to fill that time.They have been given that missing time to themselves that they fervently felt they missed and often do not know what to do with it.
The point is to be in the moment, not miss the moment while trying to capture it.
So apply growth mindset
Enjoy the process
Make the time to keep your interests going.
Spend time thinking and planning goals.
Consider what you can improve .
After all as Eleanor Roosevelt wrote
The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.